The Elevation Church

Tag: Chidi Iwe

  • A Grateful Heart

    A Grateful Heart

    Somto hated Mathematics.

    He struggled with it in class almost every year. Despite my many attempts to help him improve his understanding of the basics, we just couldn’t make a headway. I would scream and be so impatient whenever I sat down to teach him; my wife and I even went ahead to get home tutors for him.

    Why did he struggle with a subject that I felt was piece of cake? Perhaps he was afraid to fail, or maybe my method of home teaching was outdated; maybe he had completely lost interest in math.

    This was my biggest dilemma as a parent in 2014; I just didn’t understand why I couldn’t help my son who was constantly failing this subject term after term. I began to feel a sense of helplessness and visible frustration so much so that Somto preferred to ask his mum for assistance with his math homework rather than come to me. As you may imagine, this made me feel even more helpless. Mr. Farouk (Somto’s class teacher in Primary 6) said to me, “Sir, don’t worry, we will discover the areas of weakness in his math and fix it”.

    I wondered, what could Mr. Farouk do in a few months, that I and other home tutors couldn’t achieve in 3 years?

    A few weeks ago, I decided to go back to my son’s school to show some gratitude to one of the usually forgotten givers in society. Mr. Farouk made good his promise a few years ago. Today, Somto is the math tutor at home, assisting his brothers in their math assignments; he is also performing very well in math in school. Slowly, methodically; but surely, Mr. Farouk helped Somto restore his confidence and love for numbers.  When I paid Mr. Farouk a visit in his classroom, his face lit with joy to know that Somto (whom he calls “my child”) is still doing very well. This simple act of gratitude required that I went back to Somto’s primary school and searched for Mr. Farouk.

    This reminds me of the story of the ten lepers who were healed of Leprosy. Jesus asked the one who returned to show gratitude, “where are the nine?”. I dare say that the other nine lepers who didn’t return were perhaps thankful for the miracle, but that’s where it all ended. Gratitude does not only requires feeling thankful but going ahead to act on it. The lesson from the story of the ten lepers is about returning with something in our mouths or hands. How about making up your mind to return to say or do something refreshing to demonstrate gratitude. Yes, I mean decide now before reading any further, I’ll wait…

    Welcome back and thank you for stopping for just a moment to be thoughtful. I can also feel the smile on your face because gratitude is infectious. There are some simple treasures of life, like cold water, bread and butter.  So simple, but yet so profound in their importance to our daily lives. Some will argue that the best things in life are free (e.g. water & clean oxygenated air). We can and need to be thankful for things as simple as these. Living a life of gratitude requires thoughtfulness and stock taking.

    Research has shown that gratitude has a soothing and sometimes healing effect on those with psychological challenges. Much of our time and energy is spent pursuing things we currently don’t have, and this is draining. Gratitude reverses our priorities to help us appreciate people more than the things we do. Gratitude unshackles us from toxic emotions; as cold water is to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country. Giving or receiving gratitude is as refreshing as a glass of cold water. Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes that it will make them happier.

    Here are some ways to cultivate gratitude on a regular basis:

    • Thank people. Think about someone who has done something nice for you, and mentally thank the individual. Verbalize your gratitude also in prayer.
    • Keep a gratitude journal. You can make it a habit to write down or share with a loved one, thoughts about the gifts you’ve received. What a way to count your blessings.
    • Share your gratitude. Social media platforms today help us to share our feelings of gratitude. Pick a time every month to sit down and write about your blessings. LinkedIn has some nice gratitude templates.
    • Write a thank-you note. You can nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you note. Be specific about the incident or occasion you are being thankful for. Keep it short and simple. Writing shows that it was not just a passing thought. Occasionally, feel free to also write one to yourself. Stick-ons can come in handy here.

    The ethos of the story of the ten lepers in the Bible was not that they were a set of 9 ungrateful lepers, rather it was about the fact that the nine were not thoughtful enough to count their blessings. They were overtaken by the hustle and bustle of life and their unaccomplished dreams. They missed the opportunity for wholeness.

    Gratitude helps you put things in their proper perspective. When things don’t go your way, remember that every difficulty carries within it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit. In the face of adversity ask yourself: “What can I learn from this?”, and “How can I benefit from this?”. Instead of always wishing for good things to happen to us we can choose gratitude, generosity, and goodwill. This is the secret to wholeness and fulfilment.

    I hope this write-up will inspire you to create an attitude of gratitude.

     

    Written by Chidi Iwe

  • Shift! You’re not a Tree

    Shift! You’re not a Tree

    Making major changes in our lives may not always immediately mean the big changes like relocating to another part of the world, or finally hitting that 7-digit salary job. These major changes may usually start with a simple desire for improvement in an area of our lives and almost everyone has this desire lurking somewhere.

    We usually want something more: more happiness, more peace, more friends, more success, and of course, more money. But remember that until a desire is acted upon intentionally and relentlessly, we cannot attain the measure of success that we expect.

    Small changes to our daily lives and routine are important because they make the big changes possible. They can be likened to chasing down the little foxes that spoil the vine. We are usually aware of these little foxes, but often times do not feel the need to make any major changes about them because we think that they do not have any foremost impact on the overall outcome – the vine. But, the cumulative impact of the foxes on our vines should inspire us to frequently consider what small changes can steer our ship in a more desirable direction.

    Are you looking to make a significant change in any area of your life that will go a long way to improve the overall outcome? Here are a few small things to consider which can influence your vine over time…

    1. Stop comparing: Isn’t it interesting how many people derive emotional satisfaction in being taller than others? This is something they have absolutely no control over! You must realize that whatever you do or have, there is always someone with something better or more. So, quit comparing, run your course and tend your vine. The grass is not always greener on the other side; the grass is greener on the side that is well watered.
    2. Own the first few hours of your day: You should ruthlessly guard this time because it sets the tone for your day and ultimately your life. This should involve your quiet time, planning, meditating, and the revival of your body, mind, and soul. Don’t joke with it, it is what you give to it that you will get from it.
    3. Tame the desire to always be right: Being right at all cost might fulfill an inner need you have, but this is often at the expense of someone else. Keep your point of view, speak up for your values, but be mindful not to win the little battles only to lose the war.
    4. Think about investing and not just saving: are you looking to improve your finances? Then, having the right saving culture is first very important. Once you can achieve that, you can then mature the saving culture into an investment culture and project into the long term to maximize your present value.
    5. Schedule time to invest in others: Mentor someone. You’ve been through something that someone can learn from. Don’t keep the knowledge you have, that is a resource you cannot afford to waste.
    6. Replace ‘No’ with ‘No, thanks’: Learning to say no is one thing, but doing it courteously is another. For some of us, the fox is in the former. We are overwhelmed with being all things to all men but it doesn’t always work that way. For others, it’s the habit of a harsh no. You may need to practice cushioning your no. Be mindful of this; a good-hearted ‘no’ can draw empathy instead of instigating anger.
    7. Donate time to a charitable cause: It’s a call to selflessness. This is not just about giving money for tax benefits. It is more about pausing to give time and affection to a cause that benefits humanity. You need to get out of yourself sometimes and walk into empathy, it improves your vine.
    8. Keep the welfare of the elderly on the plan: We often pray for a long life and hope to be part of this often-forgotten group one day. So, let’s not just keep them in mind, but put them on the plan, and teach our children to do so.
    9. Challenge your routine: Must you take the same route to work every day? Must you always chill at the same lounge and with the same friends? Must your shop open at 7am every day? Must your phone be on every day of the year, and must it accompany you everywhere, even the bathroom? Must you always spend your quiet time talking and praying? How about listening for a change? Sometimes, you need to get out of your routine and change things up a bit, maybe a life-changing opportunity may come your way.

    In other words, whatever you need to do and however you have to do it, think of your own small changes and then do them quickly and frequently. Remove the foxes and your vine is certainly bound to flourish.

     

    By: Chidi Iwe

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