Then Comes a Clash – Fights and Conflicts


Have you ever wondered why people have clashes? The reason there is much conflict and fights around the world is the need to be right; everyone wants to be right. Many times, we humans hold our egos so high; allowing it to become so precious that we don’t want it bruised.

 Proverb 13:10 – Pride breeds quarrel

Even when we are not physically trying to be right, it’s a battle in our head “why did he/she say that?”  “Is he/she saying that to prove a point or does he/she mean to say I am wrong”? As humans if we are able to come to a self realization that there is no right or wrong, that we just have different opinions – then we will be right on our way to solving one of man’s biggest issues.

I remember vividly five years back as a newlywed, I wanted to be right all the time, forgetting that I was in a union with someone from a different background and a different personality from me. There was no room for compromise; how can we compromise when we couldn’t even communicate effectively? I’ll sit alone thinking – “even if I’m wrong, why won’t he just let me win?” After every reconciliation (which took about 2-3days), I would bring up my question – “Baby, even if I was wrong couldn’t you just let it be?” Then comes the answer, “if I let it be, that’s means I’m saying the action was okay and you can go on repeating it”. We never learnt from any of those misunderstandings even though it cost us our peace of mind because we had to make some decisions without consulting each other (trust me two heads are better than one). It took 3 years for me to come to a realization that it is not always about me and my point of view. I didn’t wake up one morning and everything became perfect; NO… things changed because I was consciously reminding myself of the beauty of peace. I also had lots of intimate talk-time with God and letting go of the need to be right. I loved the new-found peace and wanted it, I pinned for it because my love for God grew in those 3 years.

Psalm 85:10 – “Righteousness and peace kiss each other

We cannot claim to love God and still enjoy a life of constant conflict and misunderstanding; dwelling in that space where it’s always about us being right or our egos not getting hurt. Even when wronged by someone, we need to realize that forgiveness does more good for us and our state of mind than the person being forgiven. Bearing this in mind, it will become easier to move on from hurts and malice. Where love and charity abide, there God is found, a place devoid of pride, ego, malice.

Exodus 33:14God’s presence brings peace and rest

Dwelling in God’s presence at all time is the surest way to attain peace of mind which is health to the body.

 Proverb 14:30 – A heart at peace gives life to the body

May we enjoy the grace to live a stress free, peaceful life so we can dwell in the fullness of God’s presence and enjoy the grace it come with, because where God dwells he speaks.


Written by Vera Okobi


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Comments (3)

God bless you Vera, this is timely for me.

A timely piece! God bless you.

Lovely piece and timely reminder!

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